When Mean People Give Advice

Once I visited a photography site to ask some advice about buying a camera and equipment and I was pretty specific about my goals and price range.  I received about 5 replies with advice but to my dismay 2 replies were completely negative and dismissive. One person wrote that if I didn’t have over $20,000 to throw down, that I shouldn’t even bother. Another wrote no way unless I had a minimum of $10,000. Their replies were quite long about why I couldn’t do anything worthwhile on my budget.  I call these type of people photography snobs and the world is full of them and I’ve found them much more shrewd than fine artists such as painters.  I mean can you imagine a painter telling a beginner painter not to bother painting unless you can afford a $150 paintbrush because they will never get worthwhile results with a $5.00 brush? No painter would ever say that, in fact they are quite the opposite but this is how snob photographers operate.  I felt pretty defeated.

A short time later I had a couple more replies who were great with advice and told me of course I could get set up with some decent equipment to start me out in my price range of about $3000.  They gave me advice of what equipment is more important and what I should buy first and wait a bit for other pieces.  They told me how they would go about building my useful inventory, because I don’t need everything, since I had a specific type of photography in mind.  They gave me their opinion of what 2 cameras they would buy if it were them and yes, two posters gave the same advice on which cameras.  I appreciated those last 2 posters help so much and I printed and used everything they said.  It was the right thing to do because I’m only a beginner photographer and I don’t need elitist equipment; I just need decent equipment to learn on.  I’m still building my inventory and it’s working out really well.  My camera is complicated enough and I still have loads to learn with it.

Later on I was on the same photographers site and I was admiring some of the photographers portfolios.  I came across one portfolio by a very talented photographer.  I think he was pretty successful and maybe well-known in his field but what I found most extraordinary was his camera equipment.  Of course he had some of the best cameras money could buy but the photos of his work I was viewing weren’t taken with the expensive cameras.  No, he was using a very old camera that looked like he probably got it from a second-hand store.  It was a great camera in its day probably from the 1920′s but was very basic.  The photos were absolutely gorgeous and impressive.  I couldn’t stop looking at them.  It really brought the lesson home for me.  It’s the photographer not the camera.  The most talented photographer can take the most beautiful photo with whatever camera he has.  It’s really the photographer’s eye not the camera.

Sashay, Sashay

Did I ever tell you the real reason I stopped using Bag  Borrow or Steal?  It had nothing to do with Bag Borrow or Steal, I think their company works pretty well.  It all had to do with a realization during a Saturday morning train ride of who I really am as a person.  And I’m not that.

Late one Saturday morning three 30 something women got on the train a stop after me and though they were together  sat in 3 different seats-what I mean is “not together”, which is no big deal because this is a free country except when more people got on the train; they took a seat next to the women.  What could be wrong with that, you ask?  I saw the one woman actually look down her nose at the woman who took the seat next to her, as if, eww, why are you sitting next to me? Now I’m entranced with these women, I mean if whomever sits with you is a problem, then sit with your freaking friend, right?

Now that they had my attention, the second thing that popped out at me was the women’s flaunting of their designer garb.  All had the oversized Chanel sunglasses, which looked stupid on all 3.  One brandished a huge Gucci belt. All 3 had expensive designer handbags.  I could forgive all except for their conversation and that’s what made everything unforgivable.  Seeing that they sat apart and  one sat across the train aisle; it meant they had to talk loud, so all of us in the car fell victim to their conversation.

One was particularly vile to me as she insulted a co-worker relentlessly mostly because of his weight.  She even went as far as to bloat her cheeks and do a little skit imitating him.  Her friends giggled and that’s another thing that galls me, when grown women think they have to cackle at every phrase someone says, because after-all it’s Saturday and they are all out to have fun and that’s what fun IS-giggling all over the place.

The conversation continued and they began to discuss their hired help-meaning housekeepers.  One had lost hers and she needed another, so the most gruff one recommended hers.  “Is she key worthy?”  the housekeeperless inquired.  “I gave her my key.”  the gruff one replied, while shrugging her shoulders.  Now the key worthy part was just  like running a hot blade down my spine and I felt the acid rise up in my throat.

The most gruff one began to criticize the tall thin one about using coupons….she didn’t find it cool.  All this almost made me yearn for the monthly lunatic  encounter,

~like the one day when a man took over our car ranting, “Obama, don’t like none of y’all, ok.”  Then encapsulated the woman behind me in her seat insisting she was Hilary Clinton and why wasn’t she at work-even though the woman was African-American and well…scared.  She only weighed probably 102 lbs and this man was about 6’3 and a massive hunk of crazy.  I visualized he had a machete hidden somewhere and would soon take it out and cut us all down. ~

But these women were less likable than that man, is the point I want to make.

So what in heaven’s name does all this have to do with Bag Borrow or Steal anyway?  What imprinted on me  most was their display of designer wear and how I couldn’t get it out of my mind how they might be posers using Bag Borrow or Steal because they couldn’t really afford it, like me.  At the time I was also a poser; because I was sporting my ultra cool bracelet from Bag Borrow or Steal-that indeed, I could not afford.  Then the hens came home to roost.  I, sitting there on the train realized who I was.  I cannot afford Chanel, I cannot afford Prada and lastly don’t really like the flaunting of the brand logos as if you are something special.  I don’t really like status symbols- I confess.  So why would I ever pretend I could afford them and use Bag Borrow and Steal’s service to make it look like I could?  That is not me.  I didn’t want to be “those” women.  Maybe they owned their shit outright but I couldn’t help but think if they were that well off why weren’t they driving their beamer or luxury Mercedes and not slumming it on the subway?  It didn’t matter, because they were everything I never wanted to be.

I started thinking how I’ve always bought from independent artists and why would I want to change that?  I was doing pretty well with my choices.  I get a profuse amount of compliments  on my handbags and jewelry.  At the Christmas party in December the compliments didn’t stop about my necklace bought from an artist on Etsy.  I think I’m doing pretty well on my own, without the  help of the top names dictating what is chic.  It’s mostly men who like my handbags, they especially like my messenger bag with the cool rabbit from Alice in Wonderland but it’s not the 1st bag they’ve stopped me to have a conversation about. It happens a lot.  Sure it could be all contrived to be an opening line, but I think there are too many of them choosing to have a conversation about my bag for it not to be about my bag.

My stop finally came and though I could have taken the other door where I wouldn’t have had to sashay in front of the 3 women,  that wouldn’t have been fun. So, sashay I did.  I knew on that particular day that I looked better than any of them and it was affirmed by their sudden silence as I waited by the door to exit. All without the labels except for my rented Pianegonda Bracelet, which I didn’t even think shouted designer piece.  I heard no  incessant giggling. All was right with the world once again. When I got back home, I went straight to my closet shelf, removed the small box, took off my bracelet, carefully packed it, printed The Bag Borrow or Steal label and dropped it off at the UPS store.  So there’s the real reason.

Filler Update and Beauty Products That Don’t Break the Budget

Today my face is looking pretty good after the filler injections yesterday afternoon.  I’m really, really sore though.  The bruising is pretty minimal so just feeling sore is an ok tradeoff.  Interestingly enough , I don’t think the injections caused the soreness, but from the hard scrubbing the doctor did before the injections, probably to get the blood flowing to the area.  Then the pressure you have to apply during the injections and also the doctor does a lot of pressing in the end to sculpt the filler nicely into place.  Your face really isn’t used to being treated this way and for me never! So today I feel like the day after a bad dental appointment.

The other interesting effect was how oily my face was yesterday evening.  I normally have pretty dry skin but all the massaging must have activated oil production.  That is really pretty interesting and I’m wondering if massaging my face would be beneficial.  I would describe my skin last night looking like I had been out in the snow all day.  I think the Novocaine they apply first really gives you a windburned look.  The nurse said it would wear off in an hour…try around 8.  That’s exactly how I am with the dentist…still numb at midnight after an afternoon dental appointment.

One product I’ve recently picked up is the Body Butter by Missha.  It is phenomenal.  I  use it on my legs and it is amazing for smoothing the skin and long-lasting.  The price is unbelievably reasonable, under $5.00!  I think a couple jars I bought were $3.00.  Missha has a great product line and it doesn’t bust my budget.  I’ve been impressed with all my choices but it’s so refreshing to not spend $300 for a moisturizer thinking it will work a miracle and then find it out it doesn’t.  It’s one of those areas where if you dig deep enough; you will eventually find a treasure.

I have 2 other home run products Smashbox Photo Finish Primer Light and bareVitamins Prime Time Eyelid Primer made by bareMinerals.  The Smashbox Photo Finish really leaves your foundation looking sleek and it will still look that way at the end of the day.  I’ve used other primers but so far this one is the best.  I use my Missha moisturizer first and then apply the primer.  I know the directions might say to use the primer first but I’ve had the best results when using the moisturizer first.

Next the bareVitamins Prime Time Eyelid Primer, it really works.  This is the first eyelid primer that actually works for me.  My eyeliner stays put all day and my mascara is not leaving smudges under my eyebrow anymore.  I normally am not a fan of the bareMinerals line;  it doesn’t work on my skin, even the foundation primer was disappointing, so I was skeptical to try the eyelid primer.  I use the primer after my foundation and have impressive results, so glad I gave this line another shot.  One caveat, you will have to use eye makeup remover to get your liner off because the primer  really sets it.